Do I drive the right car, wear the right clothes & live in the big house in the best neighborhood?

LET’S stop looking at the current financial wreck as some kind of short-term crisis.

Bad mortgages without adequate collateral aren’t the problem – they are symptomatic of the problem. We live in a society with a collective psyche that refuses to accept that there are limits on what one person can or should acquire and constantly pushes for bigger and shinier things.

Our entire economy is predicated on the endless acquisition of material goods (and deep-seated insecurity about our own positions in the world).

We have a consumption-based economy that requires people to keep buying things. And to spur this drive to buy, we have a media culture that works to undermine self-esteem and create inadequacy out of not having whatever it is that is being sold at the moment. At the same time, this media culture reminds us that we deserve more, and we can have more.

More and more over the past decade, this cycle of consumption has been fed by spending beyond our means:  Take out an equity loan to get that new car you want and go take that trip you’ve been dreaming of. Whilst you’re at it, take out a huge loan for the condo you’ve been eye-ing for some time.

Approving a 700 billion-dollar ‘bailout’ isn’t going to cure our economy because the real illness is within us all – We already have unimaginable wealth and yet are not content. If we actually had any sense of contentment with what we already possess and are secure in our own worth regardless of whether we whiten our teeth, color our hair or drive a cool car, we would not be in these bad times.

You’re in MySpace

I AM a very private guy.

 

I don’t like being surrounded by too many people and I hate crowded places; I prefer to shy away from attention, except for the occasional drama with my friends; I don’t like photos of me taken unless I look a million-dollars in them; I don’t like divulging too much personal information and I certainly don’t need to have hundreds of ‘friends’ because its too complicating.

 

To me, friends are people that I’ve known for a certain period of time and we have grown to understand each other well. I feel comfortable with my friends and I do treasure them.

 

It is possible to have 100 persons that I know but not possible to have 100 friends at any one time…

 

That is why I cannot understand the extremely loosely-used word “friends” in networking sites like Facebook or MySpace, etc. Why do people get all excited about collecting ‘hearts’ and ‘friends’?

 

I signed up for Facebook about 2 years ago and was shocked that despite having limited information and with no photo or real name, I was tracked down by somebody I used to know who had absolutely nothing to do with the two Facebook ‘friends’ I was linked to.

 

I proceeded to delete my profile immediately.

 

Each time I tell people I do not have a Facebook account, they will go on to tell me why I should – the benefits of finding a life-partner or one night stands or just simply to know more people. These sites have just too many bells and whistles; so many functions, so many buttons, so many tabs, so many colours, so many pictures and so many updates but I’m just not made to process that much gimmicks!

 

As private as I may be, I know my [unflattering] photos are floating around in my friends’ Facebook. I have served many verbal cease-and-desist orders against them but to no avail. However, I shalt stay partial to and not judge my friends who aim to collect 1000 ‘hearts’ in a week…

 

That’s what friends are for.

 

Uniquely Singaporean!

I’ve traveled the world over and over again and every time I tell people I am Singaporean, their first thought that comes out is the chewing gum issue.

They seem to collectively think that it is still illegal to chew gum in Singapore.

Singapore banned chewing gum when vandals started inserting and sticking used gums into places they weren’t supposed to. Recently though, the Government revised the legislation to allow the sale of chewing gum [with medicinal value] to be sold only by medical professionals or pharmacists. 

I find it quite interesting and amusing to describe to people how living in Singapore is not as strict as one might think. For instance, you will only be in trouble with the Authorities if you spit your gum on the floor, as opposed to disposing them properly in a bin.

It’s easy to appreciate how everything just works in Singapore. Although I don’t live in Singapore any more, I still rate it as one of the more efficient cities in the world. Each time I meet a fellow Singaporean overseas, we hit it off like we’ve known each other for ages, and its easy to explain this ‘bond’ – *Singlish

*Singlish – The Singaporean English (‘meh’,’lah’, ‘lor’, ‘liao’) is a national disgrace but only a true-blue Singaporean can speak it with such ease, speed and contrition. It is also the language we use to identify ourselves with fellow countrymen. In fact, it’s so interesting a ‘slang’ that it even has its own dictionary!

We don’t need politics, just gossip and cakes

Having spent a grand total of 6 years in the United States of America, I feel compelled to follow the on-going contest between Barack Obama and John McCain. Whoever is elected President does affect each and every one of us [directly or indirectly]. 

Look around us – you cannot deny the American influences in our daily lives: Starbucks, McDonald’s, our currencies pegged to the US Dollar and how the global economic downturn is encouraged by America’s own crumbling economy.  

That’s the reason I’m so enthusiastic about the next man to take charge in the White House. Make no mistake: both candidates have dreams to sell (and should I say – different versions of the same ‘American Dream’ to sell). This election is not about who gives the best speech but about who the best Dream merchant is. In the end, the President is likely to be the one who produces the most authentic ‘American Dream’. 

Both Barack Obama and John McCain claim they are children of the Dream. Both are terribly eloquent in offering up their versions of what it did for them and what it can do for fellow Americans. The Republican version emphasizes toughness and loyalty to country and to friends, and to them it wins everything else. The Democratic version focuses more on protecting the vulnerable and the under-privileged as they believe that the American Dream itself is endangered. Obviously, the Republicans don’t share the view that American families were hurting. 

Like all campaigns, this one will also test the candidate’s character and leadership. It will also feature all kinds of verbal attacks between the both parties and issues that don’t matter at all to me and my American friends alike (race, age, religion and sexuality). 

I am fearful for the future because a lot of smoke is being blown into the voters’ eyes in an attempt to distract them from what is truly important… 

The way out of this confusion is simple – make this (or any) election be about whom can best help their countrymen realize their own dream, then vote for them accordingly.

Host with the most

Since I started living on my own many ages ago, I have hosted many parties [some successful some not] and realized the importance of being hospitable to the guests that you invite. I strive to make sure everyone is having a  good time, and more importantly that new guests feel welcomed.

 

To be honest, I must thank my parents for giving me the opportunity to learn to host dinners. My mum used to organize house parties (Chinese New Year, Birthdays, Mid-Autumn, Christmas) every quarter of the year and I was forced to be the door-boy every time. My dad will find any opportunity to invite his colleagues home for a game of mahjong. Yes we were the typical Chinese household and being house-proud is in our blood.

 

I’ve learnt, over the years, that it is important to be less anal about the outcome of the party. As long as food, drinks and music is provided for, the rest will follow.

 

Some of the other things I’ve picked up:

 

Do’s

• Send out invitation in advance, about 1 week for casual events like impromptu gatherings and up to 1 month for important dates such as Birthdays and Festive seasons.
• Intro each and every guest to one another if you don’t want any particular guest to spend the whole evening trying to figure out the perfect pick-up line for this new stranger at your place that he fancies.
• Entertain your guest so that they won’t feel bored. Talk to each and every one of them.
• Use disposable plates and utensils. Yes they are not really environmental friendly, but you save on washing up at the end of the day and trust me – washing up can be very depressing.
• Serve your guests the first drink as soon as they arrive. It’s basic gesture to acknowledge their arrival.

Don’ts

• Last minute cooking – No point inviting people over and you spend half the time in the kitchen trying to prepare the food. Cater or organize a potluck.
• Allow your guests to go into your bedroom unless you’re OK with them knowing which brand of condoms and lube you use.
• Try to cram too many people in a small house. Manage your guest list and invite only those that matter.
• Spread around that you’re having a big party at your place, unless you want people to hate you for not inviting them.
• Openly give out the details of where you stay

This post is also dedicated to my friend, R, who is perpetually entertaining at his house. He is easily the most hospitable being I’ve encountered.